Casual chic

What is it about Casual Day?

It's Casual Day today at work...and I don't know, maybe it's me...but it just changes the whole mood and shape of the day...I feel relaxed, excited to go to and be at work, the weather seems nicer...it just seems like a great day...it helps that Casual Day falls on a Friday so the impending weekend lifts everyone's spirits and when asked the question 'How are you?' people respond with 'It's Friday!' rather than the customary 'Not bad for a Monday.' or 'Not bad for a Tuesday' or the surprising variation 'Not bad for a Wednesday' until Thursday arrives and you get 'It's almost Friday!'

People make me sick.

They are so anxious for the working day to pass so they can be home or drinking...or at home drinking...or drinking at home...instead of changing their outlook and mindset and being determined to enjoy the 8 or so hours that are spent in the concrete prisons.

It's a fact of life: you have to work. There is no escaping it. Money must be earned. Bills must be paid. Food must be bought. It's the crappy circle of life that they don't sing about in The Lion King because telling young children that they are being groomed to live a life of servitude is too scary a prospect for an animated film...of course showing Mufasa being trampled to death by wildebeests or Scar being eaten by Hyenas is perfectly reasonable.

So it is inevitable, we work. We all get it. But why can't people adjust their perspective and realise it doesn't have to be the back breaking chore they make it out to be - there is lots of time in the working day to laugh and smile and goof off and simply enjoy being healthy, breathing and basically being alive! Keep a song and a smile in your heart and the day will be brighter, and you'll find that your life will improve greatly.

Why only recently I decided to stop answering the question 'How are you?' with 'Fine' or 'Not bad'. Now I answer it with 'Great! And how are you!?' with a beaming smile and excitement lurking behind my eyes. And I feel great. You start doing this more and more often and you start feeling great more and more often. I have found it also results in a more positive atmosphere in your life. You're more inclined to laugh at things rather than get depressed, and it's just so much healthier feeling happy than crummy. Of course people stare at you like you're some kind of freak when you answer like that at 8 o'clock in the morning, but screw them. What do those mindless zombie drones know about anything? Nothing. That's right, they don't know nothing about anything...or to put it more simply...they don't know anything about nothing...or...bugger it.

I wake up when the alarm goes off. I don't hit snooze. I frame it in my mind that I have to get up. It's not a choice. I don't have the luxury to keep on sleeping. And after a day or two of doing this, you'll find it's much easier getting up in the morning. I actually wake up with the alarm. And I am awake as soon as I get out of bed.

And listening to some good music on the way to work always helps. Recently I've only had time for one or two songs before I'm at work, but those two songs are crucial. They need to be upbeat and catchy so once I'm out of the car I find myself whistling one of them as I walk the distance to work and come inside.

It starts the day right. And sets you off like a dwarf to a mine...and isn't that what life is really about?

Try it. You won't be disappointed!

...

Or you will be...I can't tell. I don't know you. Plus this kind of advice can be incredibly cloying and annoying if you're not a morning person or you hate you job...so...just suck it up and keep it to yourself you whingers.

Kindly let it pass

I was on the telephone with a man today...a man, what man? That's not important...but in the midst of conversation he uttered these words 'You're not going to get off scotch free.'

Thud.

I heard it. He obviously didn't as he kept on talking and we finished the conversation. But it was like fingernails on a chalk board.

Scotch free??

What the hell is that?

Am I on the wagon suddenly? Am I some kind of stain resistant carpet? Is he referring to sticky tape or some kind of hard boiled egg concoction?

It's scot free or scott free, dammit!

And I let it pass. I let him hang up and end the conversation with no correction on my part. He could go out into the wide world and make the same mistake again, possibly making a fool of himself or embarrassing himself in front of a possible paramour spoiling a romantic atmosphere and future entanglements that may have arisen. And it would be my fault...not directly of course but indirectly...by my omission. I have allowed this man to believe that the phrase is scotch free when it very clearly isn't.

And I thought...what is the proper etiquette in a situation like this? Do you leave this man's boogers hanging? Do you lend a hankie? What's a nice genuine handsome guy like me to do? Should I have done what I did and let it pass...or said something...or nothing? Should I have not returned conversation at the end of the sentence containing the malapropism and in the deafening silence that would ensue mutter the words: Um...I think it's scot(t) free.

Him: What?

Me: Scot(t) free. I think the phrase is scot(t) free. You said scotch free.

Him: Did I? I don't remember saying that.

Me: You did. But that's cool.

Him: I don't think I would have said scotch free. I'm not an idiot.

Me: I'm not saying you're an idiot. I heard the words 'scotch' and 'free' and I thought I'd help you out in case you really did think it was scotch free and you went out and used it again somewhere and looked like a complete ass clown.

Him: I know it's scot(t) free. Don't patronise me.

Me: I'm not patronising you. I'm condescending, there's a subtle difference.

Him: Is there?

Me: I hope so.

Him: Oh, well...um...thanks for the help.

Me: Don't mention it.

Him: Right. Well...I better...

Me: I've got to go too...

Him: Oh...I was just going to....

Me: What?

Him: Nothing, nothing. You're going to think I'm sil...I can't.

Me: Um...what are you talking about?

Him: It's just that...I can't get you out of...oh never mind...I'll talk to you some other time.

Me: Oh...kay.

'click'

See...awkward.

No one needs that. So, I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I don't care how blue his eyes are.

Food for thought

I just noticed that my last three entries have been food related...or should I say entrees?

Ha ha.

No...entries it is.

I'll see what I can think of that isn't about food or remotely connected with food for my next entry...

I'm sure you care.

Twirling...

I just had a Twirl...

Relax you superficial trolls...it was a 'funsize' one...so I will still be maintaining my size zero frame.

But it got me thinking...I remember when the Twirl first came out. There was a lot of hoop-la...reminiscent of the coming of the Curly-Wurly...that may have been before or after...I forget. But still...and after all these years nothing has changed about the Twirl...Cadbury hasn't tried to 'mint' it or dip it in white chocolate or dark chocolate or mix it with caramel...it has remained unchanged. It is as it was and always has been...Swirls and Curls of Cadbury Dairy Milk Milk Chocolate.

But where is it in the national conscience...nowhere...it's not even on the shelf of the sub-conscious supermarket or 711 of the public mind. You know why...and I'm going to be brutally honest here...

The Time Out.

Now I know they're different...believe me...the Time Out has more in common with a Twix than with the Twirl...but it landed in Australia with as much hoop-la but a little less popular consumption...so I feel like the advertising and the focus was moved from a more reliable product like Twirl...onto the wafer based Time Out...and look at what that move has wrought.

Now I don't know how Twirl is selling...I haven't done the research...but maybe it still is the good ol' reliable chocolate...that can't be...that won't be...'redone' with flashy new tricks like a mint frosting caramel goo thing...it is unchanged. It is constant. Maybe that's why we love it. When we feel like curls and swirls...we say to ourselves...'Let's get a Twirl!' We know what it is...and the purple and yellow branding is emblazoned on our memory like a blaze of blazers...but it will never reach the popularity level that it once did. And I blame that also on the youth...the younger generations out there...who don't remember Nestle...only Wonka...who never think to pick up a Polly Waffle or a Chokito...and it is inevitably this generation that I feel sorry for...for they will never know the thrill of biting into a Coconut Rough...tasting the bubbles of an original flavoured Aero...or having debates about the quality of honeycomb in a Violet Crumble versus the Crunchie.

Or maybe they will...maybe I'm just being cynical. But it's never too late. Encourage your kids to experiment with different types of chocolate bars. Lift them on your shoulders so they can see the less popular peanut brittle chocolates. Do it. Grab a Twirl and give it a...shot.

Why I don't really like fish...

Yessir...I tackle the real issues.

I don't know why really...when someone says do you like fish...I find myself umming and ahhing and saying...'I like seafood!' But it's not the same is it? No. In my book seafood is calamari, scallops, prawns, mussels, oysters...but it's not fish. Is that even correct? No, apparently not...the break down of the word is 'sea' and 'food' = 'food of the sea'...so technically...plankton is seafood, algae...and fish. So I guess I stand corrected...so remember that...seafood is 'food of the sea'.

But I don't include fish on my list of likes...I don't trust it. Don't get me wrong...I love a battered piece of garfish as much as anyone...but as soon as you start baking a fish...or serving it in a salad or whatever...it becomes less trustworthy and more suspicious in my books.

I will heartily bite into a piece of battered fish because I assume there's no bones...and the fish has been deep fried to an inch of it's life...there's no doubting it's dead. But the texture is different when it's baked...there's also not the thick layer of disgusting crumbed goodness standing between my teeth and the sweet salty flesh of the dead sea animal.

And I'm afraid that there will be bones...and I hate bones in my food. When you have to start being careful when you chew your food...food becomes less fun. I don't want to have to push a piece of fish around my mouth for a minute just to discover what bones lie hidden within it...only to then have to put my fingers to my mouth and remove three pieces of skeleton...I am not Sylvester eating out of a garbage can. I am a grown man who doesn't want to over think his chewing.

It's like salmon...even when it's cooked it doesn't taste cooked. But it's not like I don't like uncooked fish...I like sushi...I do...but that tastes like it's not supposed to be cooked...a fillet of salmon to me tastes like it should be cooked and then cooked again. All that orangey flesh...who are they trying to impress? Not me that's for sure...just taste cooked, that's all I'm asking...and free of bones.

I think it also harks back to my Yia Yia baking fish...seeing it sit in the cooking dish...scales and the eye...and that was when it was ready to eat...I'll pass! But that's not the only dish I passed on...the other was avgolemono soup - a Greek egg and lemon soup...which to my memory consisted of egg yolks and lemon (I'm sure there's more to it!)...and tastes as good as it sounds. I spent many Easters trying to discreetly empty my bowl in a pot plant or some hidden space in the garden...and each Easter I would forget how much I hated it the previous Easter and ask for a bowl...stupid little Jimbo never learnt.

Mmmmm...appetising.

I'm sweet enough, thanks.

I bought some dried fruit. I don't know why. I can buy real fruit...hydrated fruit. But I decided to purchase some chemically induced dried fruit. Pineapple to be specific. I never liked pineapple growing up. For years I put it in the same class as rock melon and mango...which I still despise to this day...it's the texture of those last two that does me in...they're all soft...it's like marshmallow fruit...but pineapple...I think I was just scared of it. Plus we never really had pineapple in our house...or mango really...rock melon I'm not so sure about.

And after rediscovering pineapple in the last year or two I've come to appreciate it's uniqueness...it's sweet and tart...it can burn the inside of your mouth and sting the corners of your lips...yet it's delicious and refreshing...much like James Antonas...sweet and tart, delicious and refreshing...'bitingly refreshing' - that would be a good slogan if pineapple was actually a product that was marketed...actually...the best. I defy you to think of a better one...

But it's a pain to prepare...all the cutting, the juice...a harder thing there has not been...so I was browsing the aisles of the local supermarket and saw a packet of Dried Pineapple, purchased a bag and began to devour them. After a few I thought...these aren't too tart...where's the bite? This tastes like a lolly...and lo and behold...just above the title of 'Pineapple' it says 'Sweetened Dried'! What the hell does that mean? It was dried in sugar!? I think they mean sweetened and dried but couldn't afford an 'and' or even an ampersand ('&')...so I was basically eating sugared pineapple...outraged as I was I still finished the bag...but learnt a very valuable lesson...don't try and sweeten something that is perfect as it is.

Any amount of sugar coating will make something that is unique lose its lustre...and by doing so become less unique. And I think that's true with human beings...you shouldn't try to change who you are to make yourself more palatable to other people...actually no, I think you should...well I think other people should...not me...I'm perfect...but you know those people who are loud-mouthed and opinionated and say 'I'm opinionated' (you can tell the real sorry cases are the one's who have to declare themselves 'opinionated' rather than letting their opinions 'ate' for themselves!)...and if you can't take me as I am then go away...I think this is total malarkey...there's a time and a place for opinions and it is also a better type of person who can be opinionated but quietly so, and who is also willing to take into consideration other people's opinions. I am an opinionated person, but an ill-informed opinionated person...I base my opinions on my own irrational thought process...and gladly defer to someone who has actually done the reading or the listening or the watching...they have the knowledge...I have the mouth.

So...in short...don't add sugar to pineapple...if that pineapple is James Antonas. Otherwise...add sugar and shut up.

You stand defied...top that!