Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien...um...actually...quite a bit really...

Isn't it funny how regrets seem to eat at you? Well. not so much funny...more awful...

And the way regrets eat at you...it's not like some ravenous blood thirsty carnivore ripping at flesh and muscles as it devours you...it's not even like a polite and fancy silver service dinner with linen on the table and three forks...it's more like how a girl eats a chocolate bar...a small bite here, put it back in the wrapper, another small bite there, back in its wrapper...a gradual nibbling process. However, with regret, there never seems to be an end to the chocolate bar...you don't think about it for a while and then nibble, nibble...there it is again...and you realise there's still some chocolate left.

The regret I feel is less whimsical than usual regrets...I think mine is more remorseful...or is it remorse in itself rather than regret...is there a difference...I don't think there is. So we'll stick with regret.

I regret things.

I regret a lot of things actually.

I haven't always been the upstanding fantastic specimen of a man you read before you. I am a selfish person...I'd like to say was but it's not true...I'm selfish...I'm lobster, really.

So, naturally, being of a selfish disposition people have been hurt in the wake of my actions...loved ones, unloved ones, spiders...bridges have been burned, friendships have been tested and hearts have been broken or at least slightly cracked.

It's a foolish man who doesn't appreciate the havoc he has wrought in pursuit of his own whims...and I am not a foolish man. I live with my actions and their ramifications every day. Sometimes you don't think about them and sometimes you're engulfed by them...but they're always there...nibbling.

There's not much a person can do to 're-do' these moments in their past...the most I can do is look forward and try to learn from them and try not to make the same mistakes or lapses in judgement...or allow my selfishness to consume me to such a degree that I forget that I'm not actually a selfish person...but a generous and supportive man about town.

I try to help others who I see in similar situations or quandaries...offer advice...because God knows I love the sound of my own voice...especially when I'm dropping pearls of Jamesdom...but to be really there for people...it's a great feeling...you should definitely try it sometime you selfish a**holes.

And to the ones I've hurt who are still in my life...one person in particular...I try to make them as happy as I am possibly able, earn (or re-earn) their trust and respect, and hopefully make them not regret their decision to let me be in their life...because who the f*ck wants regrets, right?

Of course, right.