Tempting...

It's strange what tempts different people. I'm talking specifically about food here, just in case there are a couple of perverts out there looking for some sexual deviancy. Not here...not yet, anyway.

I've been trying to eat right for the last couple of days...and weeks...and years...but my determination and drive seems to be quite cyclical. It comes in waves. Sometimes I'll be so determined that I'll empty my life completely of any food that I consider to be bad and tempting. Or sometimes I try to go the whole martyr route and keep these things in my life to see if my will power is strong enough to overcome the temptation...usually it's a bust...and I find myself sincerely pondering: 'I wonder what a Mars Bar tastes like?' knowing full well that the nougaty caramel goodness is pure deliciousness.

I'm not dieting. I haven't dieted in years. But it's a question of eating well. I'm flirting with something different this time...smaller portions. I've never really tried it and I think it might be what makes a difference this time. I'm used to having small breakfasts...but lunch and dinner are completely different...especially the lunch...I used to find myself ravenous by 12pm, but not so much now.

The biggest thing for me is eating out of boredom. Sitting at my desk doing work that isn't occupying my mind too much or even in a quieter period...and you think...some chocolate would be good right about now. And I'm not hungry...not one iota. But since my body and mind aren't being challenged at a particular moment...it wanders to food. That's what I think that whole 3pm snack crap comes from...people get a little bored around 3pm...it's the natural quiet part of the day...and so people get bored and think that they should snack for a pick-me-up...specifically chocolate. I just don't buy it. I have the cravings. And that's just what they are...cravings. Especially if you have a habit of snacking at that time, so your body craves the snack, the sugar, the...whatever.

What I find interesting is that over the years my tastes have changed...I don't know if I'd say developed but they have changed. I used to be a 'Chip Man'. Any kind of savoury snack...Shapes, Doritos, Smiths, CCs, Toobs...I was there, and I loved it. But now...I find my tooth has evolved into something resembling a 'sweet tooth'. Chocolate, lollies...you name it. And not quality stuff either...good old reliable Cadbury, Nestle crap. Terrible. No matter how small the serving size...the temptation is there...even when I know it's going to taste like average name brand chocolate...it's still so hard to resist.

A big part of it is feeling like I can get away with it. I don't mean sneaking it in so no one can see...I mean I feel like I don't have to watch what I eat so much...so I can eat this...I've made the decision. So if I've eaten well for two or three days I'll be offered a Crunchie or something and I'll say to myself 'You've done well so far...go on. You don't really need to watch what you eat! And you can make it up later!' And that is the hardest voice of temptation to resist...your own...especially when you're giving yourself your own blessing. I rationalise it. And that's terrible. I think working in offices has done it to me. No one offers me a chip or a crisp or a cracker...it's always something sugary and sweet and decadent. People have cake at birthdays...not a big bowl of chips and dip with a candle in it. Why is that?

Anyway...the sad realisation that is dawning upon me is that you have to look after yourself for life...you have to eat healthy all the time...not just for periods...otherwise you'll relax and then realise later when you're bloated or having digestive problems or struggle with breathing that you need to get back on the wagon...then you do...and then you reach what you wanted...and then you let it all go again. You have to keep working at it. You can have bad days and weak week ends - I'm all for that...you still have to enjoy the good things...just not in excess. I guess that's what I'm also coming to terms with...when people say 'in moderation'...I never realised what that meant exactly...a chocolate day is not moderation. Hell...a chocolate a week is pushing it...but I'm happy with that kind of pushing it!

Just so you can get an idea on what I'm eating and what direction this is heading in I'll give you a run down of what I'm eating. Now bear in this mind...this is not to lose weight, merely to eat and live well and maintain healthy habits for as long as possible.

Breakfast
Rice Bran Flakes with fruit on top and rice milk.

Lunch
Salad containing lettuce, capsicum, tomato, cucumber, tuna, almonds and red onion. Sounds plain and average but really isn't.

Dinner
Whatever we eat that is healthy...recently that's included homemade Chicken and Sweet Corn soup (something I never thought I'd eat!), Pumpkin and Spinach fritata, a Roast Vegetable Soup, and tonight it's Dukkah Eggplant with Roasted Tomato and Chickpea Salad!

And I know for some of you that sounds like vegetarian or wholefood garbage...but remember I was once like you...I would pull the exact same faces you're pulling now...and if I can eat like this...you have to...I mean...you can to.

Also I'm focusing on exercising at least once a day...that's James Antonas exercise as well...not muscle man exercise...so that will usually consist of a 20 minute jog at night or in the morning...and hopefully both on some days.

Don't really know why this required an entry...I guess I'm proud of what I'm eating at the moment and my focus on a healthy life (it helps having Kirilie...a born nutritionist/dietitian leading the way!)...also because I don't really have much else to write about today as I'm trying to shift focus from my craving to eat really bad food onto something more productive...and it's working...kind of.


P.S. After finishing the last sentence someone came round offering me free Starburst. What a world!