Morning Gnome

It's a given that you will always wake up in the morning. Except if you don't, in which case you won't know you haven't woken up, so you won't be able to argue the point with me and we can let the matter slide.

As universally accepted as this fact is (zombies aside) the feelings and emotions that one person feels upon waking can be completely different from those of another person, whether they be in Russia or the warm space beside the first 'one person', or indeed the warm space between the first 'one person' and the second 'one person', in which case a deep feeling of regret and the lack of feeling in the right arm is probably guaranteed.

But how we greet the morning influences how the morning and the day greets us. If one is a surly gnome who spits at the day with a furrowed brow and with a black cloud of doom shadowing his features, then naturally, the day is going to greet this gnome with a swift kick in the shins.

So, we try to be positive.

We wake with a smile and a song in our heart. We pat the day cordially and lovingly on the head like a puppy, and we hope we will be smothered in puppy kisses and the unconditional adoration that can only come from a furry four legged domesticated self-licker.

But alas, this does not ensure the waker in question a day of continual blessings and good fortune. For you see, God so loved the world that for some reason he decided to put other people in it.

You may smile from ear to ear as you tap dance down the street and finger gun and wink at every person you pass, but these 'other people' are not in your head and do not always subscribe to your mindset of 'I'm happy and I know it so I'm smiling. Please don't judge my teeth or thin lips!' and so they may meet your positivity with displeasure, a sneer, anger, resentment and, most crushing of all, indifference.

Their cold dead eyes seem to be saying 'What are you smiling at?' and 'What have you got to be happy about?' They judge you, quietly.

They raise doubt in your own head about how you actually feel and who you really are, until you eventually second guess your own motives for being positive and put it down to 'I was just trying something different'.

Or worse, you put all this positive energy out there and it just does nothing. You give and you give and get nothing in return, so much so that you end up losing your positive power source. You are a withered husk of a positive person, shrivelled and malnourished. Hunched over your keyboard in an office surrounded by whispered conversations and the silent dread that this really is your life. And you look in the mirror and guess who greets you, that's right, a surly gnome.

The trouble with people, myself included, is that we let things that are fundamentally out of our control affect us negatively.

For example, pretend you are a normal person. You look normal and you say normal things. I know it's a stretch, but try.

You go to party or a gathering of people and you attempt to assimilate into a group. You try to talk to people but they shoot you down. They don't enter into a conversation with you and it merely becomes a series of questions you pose them that they then then answer, with no attempt by the other person at lobbing you a return question with which you may enlighten people about your special subject: you.

But you get nothing.

You try to be friendly. Nothing.

You try to be charming. Nothing.

These people give you nothing.

You leave the party and feel like a worthless boring piece of cheese.

You enter a funk. A spiral of despair and self-loathing. All because this bunch of yahoos were, basically, not nice.

And there's the rub. This was something, fundamentally, out of your control. The party people were not nice. It had very little to do with you.** Instead of leaving the party feeling like a worthless piece of cheese, you should leave the party thinking 'Wow. Those guys were a real bunch of yahoos. And they weren't very nice. Screw them!'

Yes indeed. Screw them to the sticking place.

Now I'm not saying that these kind of incidents shouldn't lead to some self-reflection, but fundamentally, if you're okay with who you are before the party, then you should leave the party in the same state of mind.

It's out of your control. Don't let it affect you.

I thought of this as I neared the end of the holiday period. There had been sunshine, grass, light beverages, chocolate, a piñata, and plenty of smiles.

As the last day of joy came to an end and the impending dawn of the working day loomed in my mind I swore to myself that this time it would be different. I would be positive and, more importantly, remain positive, no matter what obstacles I am met with in the days, weeks, months to come.

With a bounce in my step I greeted the day and went to work. In a few short hours, the draining process had begun. The lifeblood I had found in the holiday period was diminishing at a rapid rate. Indifference surrounded me. And worse still, some of the indifference was starting to come from me.

A day or two passed and here we are. A crossroads.

Do I let the factors out of my control let me lose my fighting positive spirit? Or do I shrug them off and rise like an albatross from the embers to spread my wings and soar to the moon looking only within to renew my source of positivity in some form of positive sustainable practice?

Who knows...

Although I do know that the positive and the happiness and the good stuff has to come from yourself. You cannot rely on the unreliable outside world. Only you can make you really happy. Profound, I know. But you guys should be eating this up with a spork.


UPDATE!!

I just looked at a blog that had lots of pretty tasty looking cupcakes. So I'm pretty sure the answer's the albatross...yep...albatross to the moon, baby!



** Again, this is on the assumption of normalcy. And by normalcy I don't mean boring vanilla. I mean normal like interesting person. Not 'I have a social disease' normal.